Linda Hutsell-Manning

Author

Excerpt from Marcie Saves the Circus

MARCIE WALKS SLOWLY DOWNSTAGE CENTRE TO SANDBOX

MARCIE
Someone must know what's wrong with the circus - some one should be able
to fix it. Why wouldn't they tell me what "under new management" means?
Maybe they don't know either. I'll bet I could fix the circus if I only
knew how to get there. If I was grown up, I could take the car. If I
was Bob, I could ride a two wheeler. If I was Jane, I could walk. The
trouble with being the youngest is, you never get to go anywhere all by
yourself. (climbs in sandbox, squats down) I wish... (bangs sides) I
wish...(bangs sides) I wish I could go to the circus!

MARCIE HOLDS SANDBOX BY INSIDE HANDLES AND STANDS UP ROCKING AS SANDBOX
FLIES. WOOSHING SOUND AS THEY FLY.

Hey this is great sandbox! I didn't know you could fly. Wow! Right out
of my back yard! (looks over edge) Higher than the telephone poles!
Higher than the skyscrapers! All right, sandbox, take me to the circus!

WOOSHING SOUND SLOWLY DIMINISHES TO A JIGGLE AND BOTH BOX AND MARCIE STOP

(MARCIE stands slowly, stuffs net and tablecloth into knapsack, looks
about)

Where is the big tent? Where are all the people? I don't hear
any music. (puts knapsack on, steps out of sandbox) I don't see the
circus anywhere.

RING MASTER

(enters wearing a tattered, large-brimmed fedora and dark
glasses, is talking to himself, walks past Marcie) They'll come to
their senses. They'll never be able to manage without me. There is no
circus without me.

MARCIE
Did you say circus?

RING MASTER
I announce things, organize things, keep everyone in order.

MARCIE
Are you from the circus?

RING MASTER
I am the circus. The circus is nothing without me. It will be nothing
from now on because I'm leaving.

MARCIE
Who are you?

RING MASTER
(looks about to make sure no one is watching then takes off hat,
glasses, bows) I am the Great Ringmaster, the Master of Ceremonies, the
Manager of the World's Greatest Travelling Circus. And exactly who are
you?

MARCIE
I'm Marcie and I've come to fix the circus.

RING MASTER
(laughs hysterically) Of course you have.

MARCIE
Why not? You tell me what's wrong and I'll fix it.

RING MASTER
I wish it were that simple.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

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Excerpt from The Great Zanderthon Takeover

Scene Two

Lights up on Zanderthon cave, right. ARCHIBALD is pacing, GERTRUDE is
trying to work the computer.

ARCHIBLALD
But our Catacomb K Nine computer is never wrong. Try typing this into
the computer... "The Condescending Order of Wizards demand to know the
whereabouts of that nincompoop wizard Nestor."

GERTRUDE
(typing) ..."The Condescending Order" ...oops... I hate typing... "Of
wizards" ...oops. Why is it only Nestor knew how to run this thing?
...demand to see"...

(Noise from COMPUTER)

...I mean... "Demand to know... the whereabouts of that nincompoop
wizard Nestor. (To ARCHIBALD) There, are you satisfied now?

COMPUTER
(lights and noises) ...syntax error... will not compute...syntax
error...will not compute

ARCHIBALD
(angrily) What did you do wrong this time? Can't you even ask the
computer a simple question?

GERTRUDE
(jumping away from computer) You can't talk to me like that. I am not
your wimpy wizard Nestor. I am Gertrude, independent wizard of the first
degree.

ARCHIBALD
Well, Nestor might have been wimpy, but at least he knew how to run the
computer.

GERTRUDE
You're supposed to be the head wizard around here, Archie. (With
sweeping motion) Why don't you run the computer?

ARCHIBALD
Head wizards never run computers. They give orders. (Paces)

GERTRUDE
One of us had better come up with something or we'll never get Nestor
back.

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Excerpt from Merch the Invisible Wizard

(MERCH comes tumbling out of the Catacomb K Nine computer, knocking
NESTOR over and scattering GERTRUDE and ARCHIBALD, who drop the hats.
MERCH staggers to his feet with bedraggled dignity.)

MERCH
Merch, Temporary Type C wizard reporting...

NESTOR
(picking himself up) It worked... it worked.

GERTRUDE
Where's the human? You didn't get the human.

(MARIANNE comes flying out, knocking NESTOR over again)

NESTOR
(picking himself up) Oh yes I did. (Scrambles nervously away from
MARIANNNE)

MARIANNE
(to MERCH) What's happened? Where are we?

(ARCHIBALD, GERTRUDE and NESTOR go into a huddle and silently argue,
point and react to statements by MERCH and MARIANNE)

MERCH
(Peering about) We seem to be in ... Wizard Headquarters. (Sees hat,
puts it on, looks about) I'm missing two hats.

MARIANNE
(inspecting computer) We came out through this computer. Into our TV and
out through this computer. (feeling arms, head, etc.) And it didn't even
hurt.

MERCH
Of course not. (finds second hat) Ha,, ha. (puts it on)

MARIANNE
(sees wizards) Is that the Condescending Order of Wizards? They don't
look very grand to me.

MERCH
(finds third hat. Puts it on) Shh. We must be very careful what we say.

MARIANNE
And this place looks like a dump.

MERCH
(horrified) Ohh... extremely careful of what we say.

(ARCHIBALD, GERTRUDE and NESTOR descend on MERCH and MARIANNE)

ARCHIBALD
Merch Temporary Type C Wizard... remove your hat.

(MERCH removes hat)

GERTRUDE
Remove your hat.

(MERCH removes hat)

NESTOR
Remove your hat.

MERCH
(removes hat) If you please, your greatnesses, your evilnesses, I would
like to explain...

(GERTRUDE has been eyeing MARIANNE, and can't resist poking at her)

GERTRUDE
Ohh. I've never seen a human up so close.

MARIANNE (indignantly)
Leave me alone, you ugly old thing. (backs away)

GERTRUDE (advancing)
Small and pale... and so much to say for herself. (Pokes
MARIANNE again)

MARIANNE
(backing up) This place is a dump... and you don't scare me.

MERCH
(plaintively) If you'd let me explain... I was just getting ready for my
best disaster. I...

* * * * * * * * *

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Excerpt from Freddykid and Seagull Sam

(WHIPLASH cracks his whip and chases miners down the shaft. FREDDYKID is
heard protesting, offstage. SLICK and SLACK enter into office carrying a
protesting FREDDYKID, blindfolded)

FREDDYKID
What are you going to do with me now? Let me go... let go.. (ad libs
protests)

SLICK
(to SLACK) Take the blindfold off and tie him to that chair. (To
FREDDYKID, menacingly) You'd better stop yelling, kid. The boss,
Whiplash,, don't like yelling kids.

(FREDDYKID is quiet but defiant. SLACK ties him to chair. WHIPLASH
enters office, looks FREDDYKID over)

WHIPLASH
Hmm... not too big... but he looks wiry. (Pinches FREDDYKID'S arm) Bet
you're a great climber... heh...heh... (condescendingly) What's your
name, Boy?

(FREDDYKID turns his head)

SLICK
This is it, Kid. You'd better ell the 'gentleman' your name.

FREDDYKID
(sullenly) Freddy Peterson.

WHIPLASH
Freddy, eh... well, welcome, Freddy, to our little 'operation'. As long
as you play our game, you won't get hurt. It just so happens that we
need your 'services' for a while. We have a few mine shafts for you to
climb into and a few charges for you to set. Heh...heh... How fast can
you crawl, eh? Your life will depend on it. (Motioning to SLICK) Come
on, Slick, we've got business to attend to... over lunch.

SLICK
(condescendingly to SLACK) Over lunch.

SLACK
(whining) What about me?

SLICK
You have to watch the kid...

WHIPLASH
And keep the miners working.

SLICK
(takes pistol from pocket, throws it to SLACK) Here, make sure no one
escapes.

(SLICK laughs sarcastically. WHIPLASH and SLICK exit from office. SLACK
goes into mine area brandishing gun, strutting about)

SLACK
All right, Kid, I gotta go and check the miners. (Fires gun, then is
terrified by shot) Gotta keep them in line, (firse again, goes to shaft,
calls back) Don't get lost, Kid.

(SLACK exits laughing. FREDDYKID frightened, struggles to get hiimself
loose. SEAGULL SAM appears. FREDDYKID doesn't see her)

SAM
Shriek. Some hole this is, Dearie. You got yourself into it this time
for sure.

FREDDYKID
(overjoyed, struggles harder) Oh, Sam. Am I glad to see you. Hurry, help
me get loose.

(SAM goes to FREDDYKID, unties him, goes back to mine area. FREDDYKID
gets up, rubs his wrists, comes into mine area)

How'd you get in here, anyway?

SAM
(motions to ceiling) Lots of cracks and crannies up there, Dearie. Must
be a soggy place when it rains. Shriek. What's the old shark up to?

* * * * * * * *

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Excerpt from The Polka Dot Door

CUT TO SANDBOX TONYA AND TOYS

PROPS: CARTON LABELLED "SANDBOX TOYS" - SAND PAIL, SIEVE, SCOOP FROM
BOOTLE, TOY RAKE, PIECE LEFT FROM SCOOP, SMALL RUBBER BALL BURIED IN
SAND

TONYA (LOOKING IN CARTON) The sand pail is in here somewhere, Marigold.
Be patient. (TO CAMERA) The toys are all excited about playing in the
sandbox for the first time this spring. And they're choosing the (READS
CARTON LABEL) "Sandbox Toys" they want to use to make a sand castle.
(LIFTS OUT PAIL) Here's the sand pail, Marigold. (PUTS IT DOWN) Humpty
is play with the sieve? (SHOWS) Dumpty is using the rake. (SHOWS) and
Bear, wanted the shovel. I coldn't find it. So he is going to use this
scoop. (SHOWS) I made it from the plastic bottle I found. You could have
a scoop like this. Ask a grown-up to help make you one. (SHOW BOTH PARTS
TOGETHER) Draw lines like this with a felt marker or pencil. The cut
along the line with scarp scissors or a knfe... Don't you try the
cutting... I wouldn't want you to have an accident and cut your fingers
... Ouch! Promise to ask a grown-up to do the cutting ... Good ... and
then you will have a scoop. (SHOWS)

DENIS (SITS)
Hi Toys... so that's the surprise you made from that old
plastic bottle.

TONYA
Yes, and Bear is going to use it to help build a sandcastle.

DENIS ENTERS

DENIS
Good idea. Pardon, Marigold? (PAUSE) Oh you want to help build the
sand castle too. O.K.

CUT TO SCOOP

TONYA
Ready. Let's scoop.

MUSIC
THE SANDBOX SONG (TUNE: EARLY IN THE MORNING)

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Excerpt from Wondrous Tales of Wicked Winston

Winston was a wicked wizard
Winnie was his whiney cat,
Now and then they dined on lizard,
Seagull bones and seaweed fat.
Seaweed fat -
Think of that!

Down by dreary old lake Erie
Deep inside a big sand dune,
They lived in style, slept when weary
Waited for the first full moon.
First full moon -
Trouble soon!

One clear night the moon came rising
Tossing moonbeams down the shore,
Winnie wailed, her eyes were flashing
Winston cried, "It's time to soar."
Time to soar -
What's in store?


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