One, Scene Two
early morning. Half finished sign, LASALLE MUSIC SCHOOL
propped against piano. Back of daybed faces DS, table
with phone in front of it. FRANCINE asleep. Phone
rings five or six times before FRANCINE'S arm gropes
over the back to retrieve it)
A collect call from who? A doctor ? Emergency? (sits
up) Oh God, My mother. Yes, yes I'll accept the charges.
Hello, hello? Who is this? Dr. Allan Fairfax? (pause)
Allan, you jerk. (slams down receiver) You miserable
bloodhound. How did you find me here? (Stands) What
time is it anyway? (phone rings, FRANCINE grabs receiver)
You can tell Allan Jerk Fairfax, for me, that I will
not accept a collect call from him anytime, anywhere,
ever. (pause) You don't relay messages? Right. Well
I don't accept collect calls. (slams down receiver,
turns on light, goes to kitchenette, puts on kettle,
paces) ) Two months in Kraymer's Corners, three full
time singing students, ten kids for beginner piano,
drama classes at the local Senior Citizen's Centre and,
maybe if I'm lucky, a short directing gig for the Kraymer
Community Theatre. So far I'm paying the rent. I'm independent.
I'm managing. Dr. Allan Fairfax. Collect. You're really
scraping the bottom, Allan. Bad writing. What you need
is a script writer. For your life. (pours coffee, turns
on radio, upbeat music) Okay. Today is... Monday. (Rushes
to piano) Someone has a lesson. This afternoon? Somewhere,
a list. (Papers fly onto floor, phone rings) Oh no you
don't, Allan. (phone keeps ringing) Someone calling
about lessons? Too early. (phone keeps ringing) All
right, but if it's you Dr. Fairfax I'm hiring a hit
man. (fiercely) Hello... Oh, hello Mr. Pasquali, right...
Oh... oh, yes your lesson at nine this morning? (pause)
A little earlier - eight-thirty perhaps? (pause) Oh
no, no problem, no problem at all. (pause) In about
thirty minutes? See you then... (hangs up) Antonio Pasquali,
Kraymer's Corners most eligible bachelor. European,
comfortably well off and wife-hunting. My luck. The
challenge - to keep him focused... on singing. (pushes
papers under piano) What to wear? ( rushes to coat rack,
dithers) The silk... too clingy. Pant suit... Too tight.
Something professional and not too revealing. What about...
No way. Ha! This will have to do. (Takes outfit, exits
||(song fades) And now
the news all you out-of-town fans have been waiting
to hear! This year CFQJ's "Small Town Big Talent
Contest" will be held at the community centre in
Kraymer's Corners. Two weeks to get registered. All
you KC musicians out there, this is your big chance!
(cut to song)
||(races out half dressed,
opens dresser drawer) silk scarf... where is that long
silk scarf... ( finds it) Yes. (exit to bathroom)
||(sticks head out door)
The door's open. (ducks back)
||(enters sweating and
winded, jogging in a Gortex running suit, knapsack on
back. Throws knapsack on table, keeps high stepping
round the room) 23:02. Best time yet. ( pulls jacket
off, retrieves spray cologne from pocket, sprays under
arms, chin while walking) 5K warmup before a lesson
- perfect for lung expansion, perfect for keeping in
shape. (Does grandiose arm stretches)
||(song fades) And just
to remind you out-of-town- fans once more, this year
CFQJ's "Talent in a Small Town Contest"
will be held in that lovely little town, Kraymer's
Corners. Call the station 437- CFQJ for details. (music
||Kraymer's Corners? A
talent contest here? (sings a few notes) Antonio Pasquali
you are one lucky man. Meat Market king for twenty years
and, now, a professional singing teacher providing you
with your own Italian aria. How can I lose? (Performs
a few tango steps) With such charm and talent I am practically
famous. (props song sheet on piano, jogs behind day
bed, drops down to do pushups)
||(enters, looks for ANTONIO)
Mr. Pasquali? (turns off radio)
||Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
(calls) One more set. Fifteen, sixteen...
||Oh yes, the pushups.
How silly of me to forget.( Looks over ANTONIO'S music)
Whatever happened to this? (music is blotched with pinkish-brown
||(jumps up, rushes to
grab FRANCINE'S free hand, kisses it) Good morning,
lovely lady. It is my good fortune to be here again.
||Tye-dying your music,
||(cheerfully) An unfortunate
incident in the butcher shop. Meat cleaver in one hand,
music in the other. Half way through the second verse
it fell into a pig.